Newlywed Dating Adventures : March 2016

Date 8: Balancing Roles As Partner and Parent

3:03 PM
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Date 7: Sharing Responsibility and Working Together

Preface: We just go married we have no children, and live in a tiny apartment, Both of us work Chase part time and me full time But he's going to school as well. We in my option dived the outside home chores pretty evenly everything I make which isn't much pays all of our bills. Everything Chase make we put in our tiny savings. A maters program isn't cheap so we are just trying to save up as much as possible for that. As far as the house hold chores go I'm going to be honestly with all of you I do most of them. Chase does dishes most of the time though which is nice. I grow up in a family where my dad expected to be served hand and foot and never did any household chores so Chase doing dishes is pretty awesome. But everything else I do which isn't too bad it's only the two of us and it's something we've discussed and if I ever feel like I'm caring to much of the burden it's something we will discuss again. He does well and I know the burden of school takes a lot so I feel we are about even on what we are contributing to our household.

From The Book: As you can probably guess this chapter what on sharing responsibilities. When considering responsibilities you have to remember ones outside the home as well as inside the home as well. It was important for us to come up with a household that worked for us its not about score keeping things don't always balance out. To the side is After Chase did the dishes one day when I got home from work late it made me so happy. One thing that was mentioned and that helps us is setting financial goals and keeping track of our finances. We are on a tight budget so keeping track of that and making sure both of us are on the same page financially is important part to keep contention out of our relationship.

DATE TIME: We watched YouTube videos together and had snacks I promise we will do something more exciting next week. My husband preceded to make me watch this video of a HAM going up a escalator twice. along with some equally stupidly funny videos along with Nutella rolls. Recipe here they are the best thing on the planet.http://www.bakedbyanintrovert.com/nutella-cream-cheese-crescent-rolls/ They are the best thing in the world and prove the existence of a higher being who loves us. We had fun and then cleaned up together we like out balance we have but this date taught us that we have to keep a open dialogue about finances so we can keep a budget and make sure to keep our financial goals we have set of A masters degree for Chase and to stay out of debt as much as possible.

10:57 AM
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Date 6: Building a Creative Love Life

10 Great Dates

Preface: This book chapter was on physical intimacy without going into detail we just got married we're doing fine. But sex in longer relationships often does get put on the back burner life happen children other responsibility, sometimes its hard to make time.That being said You and your partner should be able to have a open dialogue about sex. Your wants your needs what you feel conformable with what you don't like. Sex is a important part of any married relationship and is something you need to be able to talk about with each other.

What We Learned From The Book: there are 4 main potholes that any relationship can fall into that you have to be aware of .
1.)Boredom-When you stop touching one-another and put sex on the back burner
2.)Adventure Lust-When it stops being about having and pleasing your partner and more about what new thing can we do.
3.)Affairs-Not just cheating physically but emotionally as well.

4.)Pornography- Changes normal sexual response cycle.

But having a intimate relationship is about more than sex you have to keep you relationship multidimensional.
1.) Trust: You have to be able to count on one another
2.) Mutuality: remembering this is a choice and together choosing to love one another.
3.) Talking: being open and vulnerable about your needs even if it's awkward at first.
4.)Knowing and Being Known: having the emotional connection before the physical connection
5.) Giving and Receiving : Cuddling, holding hands, touching, Kissing
6.) Focusing on the love you feel for your partner.

This steps help lead to not only a better sex life but a more intimate relationship with your partner. Our goal is to remember to keep our love life and our inanimate relationship a priority just not just sex but everything else as well.

DATE TIME: For our date we built a fort and watched the walking dead in it and had treats.It was great we got to snuggle and hold hands and kissing and just enjoying close and private it might not be for everyone but for us it was romantic and fun. We did what felt comfortable for us. As a couple we know what each other likes and dislikes and our wants it just felt natural. I give the same advice to any other couple just talk about it with one another do what feels natural focus less on the motions and more about just being with your partner and pleasing each-other and having fun. We had a good night no pressures no worries just each-other some cuddling a mutual activity and that was more than enough at the end of the day I'm just lucky to be with him and being close makes me realize that.

2:30 PM
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Date Ideas: Being Creative When You Have No Money.

10 Great Dates

Dating can be expensive I've wrote about this previously in "Dating When Poor :(" and when you are poor college students just finding your footing and being happy just not to have to go into debt. The idea of spending lots of money on dates just doesn't seem worth it. But dating doesn't have to cost you a ton. Or be the classic dinner and a movie snooze fest it can be many things, many many cheap things. I have a link Here and above to some great ideas and a list below mostly for me and any of you who want to use it to some cheap creative dates so dating can be creative and fun again without having to take out a loan.

10 Fun and Cheap Dates:

1.) Going Hiking- It's great to get outside in the open and get some exercise with the one you love look up some trails near you and take your spouse have a nice talk while seeing more of the area you live in plus it's free.

2.) Build a Fort: What that outdoor experience without having to actually enter the outdoors, then you are like me because it's still freezing outside and I don't want to be out there just yet. But you can get your fix by building a blanket fort in your living room and watching movie in it with your spouse.

3.) Cook a Meal Together: It's something you're going to have to do anyways so why not do it together and have fun in the process.

4.)Stargazing: or as I like to call it an excuse to go make out because yes even married people should just make out sometimes also, yeah billions of stars pretty yeah.

5.) Volunteer Together: It's free you get to help people, enough said.

6.) Netflix it up: (was going to say Netflix and chill but that's a different kind of list) Don't have Netflix it's Just pick a show you both enjoy and watch it together once a week or so it will give you some inside jokes and something to do when neither of you feel like talking, we personally Watch the Walking Dead together and that our Monday night Activity I look forward to.

7.) Dance In Your Kitchen: not for everyone but slow dancing in the kitchen after a long day and acting like to awkward middle schoolers is pretty sweet. or awkward dancing Spanish hip hop or whatever works for you.But getting out of your head and just dancing with your spouse can be a lot of fun.

8.) YouTube Funny Videos Together: It is here you realize just how poor I am that I consider this a date but any activity that puts you and your spouse together and give you quality time is a date to me also its free which is a winner to me.

9.) Learn a Activity Together: It's preferably to pick something you are both terrible at a learn that together you'll spend more time messing up and adjusting to correct mistakes but if your the kind of people who laugh at everything it will be a good time just going through the journey also you might pick up a new skill.EX: of some to learn together basket ball, sewing, cooking... whatever you want.

10.) GAME NIGHT: Invite another couple or just the 2 of you enjoy this time to just play old board games together and be kids again.

This is just my list and many more I didn't add there are so many different ideas from much more creative people out there. Take the time you and your spouse to find what works best for you and do it and have fun. Dating is an adventure just like marriage don't be bogged down in boredom because of it allow it to be a time to enjoy one another and have fun.

10:20 AM
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Date 5: Finding Unity in Diversity

10 Great Dates

9:16 AM
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Date:4- An Encourager

10 Great Dates

Preface: It's incredibly easy to focus on your partners faults everything they do wrong. "You didn't wipe up the table after dinner.", "you made the dinner to spicy", "you got toothpaste on the mirror", "your a terrible driver". But focus to much on what you don't like about your spouse the harder it will be to see what wonderful about them. I will admit I catch myself doing this sometimes thinking of what he does wrong. I focus on him not wiping the counters instead of him washing the dishes and taking out the trash. He's done the same to me focusing on how hot the dinner is (which he hates spicy foods) instead of the fact that I took the time to prepare it. Everyone marriage is a garden but if you just focus on the weeds they will grow and the rest of the wonderful parts will wither away. It's important for every couple to focus on the positive aspect of there relationship not just the weeds in the garden but the flowers and everything good about your relationship. Acknowledging each-other positive qualities. We both deiced to focus more on the positive qualities and get back the fun parts of our relationship.

DATE TIME: For this date we where short on time it was late night on a Friday we both had work long hours that day and didn't plan an exciting date. We decided to get fast food so neither of us had to cook. Then we make awkward puns and and laughed with each-other it wasn't adventurous but it gave us time to hangout and just enjoy being around each-other. which isn't something we've gotten to do a lot lately. It reminded me again for all the things I like about Chase. Taking the time to just sit back and remember why we love each-other and why we are together was an important reminder of why we are in this. The date gave us time to see the positives in one another. At the end of the date we set a goal of trying to have more fun together and getting back to a time when we use to laugh all the time and do things just so that we could laugh about it later.We decided that in order to be more positive with each-other we wanted to laugh more with one another so we started sending text through the day of what the other might think is funny and just getting back to finding humor in our lives.

8:13 AM
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Daily Building.

10 Great Dates

9:53 AM
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Date:3-Sovling Problems As a Couple

10 Great Dates

9:53 AM
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Date:2 Learning to Commuicate

10 Great Dates

Preface: I am a terrible communicator, I hate voicing my options I hate talking, I hate having to sit down and solve augments. I'd literally could go days without talking and would be so happy. Our lips our seal is my anthem... Ok now I'm taking it a bit far. What you need to know is I am bad at communicating and Chase (the husband) is a talker and loves to communicate anytime something is even remotely off he wants to solve it. So this lesson/Date was for me. So start off we read the 10 Dates lesson for Date 2 and communication. Which let me go over the basic points with you are, to use communications to help build your relationships intimacy and not including sleeping the average couple spends as little as 30 minutes together and with me and my husband both working I can see this happening.

There are 3 main types of communication:

1: Chattering: Surface conversation, did you sleep well? Did you take out the trash? not really getting at the depth of anything that's going on
2: Confronting: Includes statements like: "you don't listen to me!" "why would you do that" is anything that is meant to hurt a spouse or attack them in anyway.
3: Connecting: This is the one we should all be striving to do as much as possible. both parties are vulnerable and willing to share there feelings and be open with one another is is the type of communication where relationships grow and is what we should all be striving to do.

After reading these I realized I still don't like being vulnerable its a exposed feeling where you have to put yourself completely out there to your spouse and trust they will listen and seek to understand. I don't like it but it's completely necessary to feeling connected.

DATE TIME: we went to a dance and ate dinner we have no picture of us dancing because those never need to be on the internet but there is one of the 4 brownies Chase took. Not including the 2 he put in my purse for home. Dancing is not something either of u like or enjoy but it was a good opportunity to get outside of our box and just be silly with each other I highly recommend doing something with your spouse that puts you both outside of your box and allows both of you to feel vulnerable together.

We had loads of fun and since we don't see a lot of each other anymore is was a perfect opportunity to be able to just have fun together. after the dance we got to actually sit down and connect we where able to to discuss how we were feeling using I statement and not attacking of defending ourselves We shared our feelings and both realized we both wanted more positive things said so we made a goal to have kindness minute at the end of each day where we say one or more nice things we liked about what the other person did that day.

8:32 AM
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